May 2013
plaidalecki:
ok but do u realise how intimate it is to sleep fACING SOMEONE
and when you start to fall asleep and you keep kinda opening your eyes and drifting in and out, every time you open your eyes you see that person across from you, you look at them, and they’re sleeping facing you too and you make eye contact sometimes and you’re just LAYING THERE, GOING TO SLEEP, LOOKING AT EACH OTHER
...
starksexual:
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
vvant:
advice for having the best life ever:
dont have a crush
vvierd:
vvierd:
do you ever look in a mirror and think why.…
am i so perfect
vagisodium:
i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out
cuntstitution:
do you ever go to bed and you’re lying awake in the middle of the night and suddenly you start laughing because of something you saw on the internet today and then you’re sad because you realise you’re laughing alone in bed thinking about the internet
frosteethesnowman:
tumblr’s all fun and games and then you realize it’s four a.m. and you have three tests tomorrow and you’ve accomplished nothing and your whole life is a lie
mailorderwife:
I really want to be famous like not for self fulfillment or success but vengeance on people who ignored me in middle school
how am i meant to control my life i can’t even control my hair
Saying “Come over” to someone who lives 1734739 miles away from you
no matter how close i think i am with someone there’s always someone before me like i’m literally never someone’s first option
flutterlings:
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
octupac:
lets play “how rude can i be until u realize i dont like u”
alltimeangela:
why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend
me during the summer: is today wednesday or sunday
666pixie:
goobsohard:
The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”
ugh
dustclouds:
i often confuse my gaydar with my overpowering pleasebegaydar
seabois:
i hate distance and time zones and age differences and people who make me feel things
Me: I'm so tired I could collaspe into bed and sleep for a year..
Me: gets in bed
Me: how was earth created
Me: who made microwaves
Me: how does the internet even work
Me: I'm hungry
Me: feels bad about something I did 4 years ago
Me: remembers 73 unfinished tasks
Me: too wired to sleep.
comforting:
I’m either hungry or horny and that is the story of my life
Reblog if you think gay marriage should be legal.
reagluvzally:
I sureee dooo!♥
aepicstranger:
thisretrodreamisneverending:
In physics the other day my teacher started having this coughing fit
so he says ‘I THINK SATAN IS CHOKING ME’
and I just went ‘Sorry’ and he stopped coughing
omg I think everyone in my class is terrified now.
i am still laughing at this from like twenty minutes ago
chickensandwich:
i told the lady at starbucks that my name was p. diddy and she refused to write it on the cup
do you ever just wonder if there’s someone who secretly thinks about you and wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how
girls at the beach: giggles as they jump over the small waves while squealing cutely
me at the beach: falls face first into a 2 metre wave which i get out of covered in sand and choking on seaweed
genocidercyo:
clockey:
you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
“We were discussing homosexuality because of an allusion to it in the book we...”
– Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women. Andrew Sullivan.
(via benedictsmith)
thepensivebrony:
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
bihateual:
i forget how gay i am until i see a girl and then i’m kinda like oh right
floralprintprouvaire:
involvingmeinvolvingyou:
If you wanna be my lover
You’ve gotta throw huge parties to get my attention and get your neighbor to invite me over for tea then let me run over my husband’s mistress in your car
When you see your ex with someone who isn't even...
sodamnrelatable:
sojetlife:
tinychatter:
imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told
Imagine reading a book of all the lies that were told to you.
